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How Do You Cope After Losing a Baby?

By Mallory Cummings, RN St. Luke’s Birthing Center

A miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a baby are all life-altering experiences that are extremely difficult to deal with. The feelings of pain and loss are natural, and there is no quick way to bypass them. Going through them is the only way to move forward. Here are a few suggestions to help you as you navigate your loss.

1. Expect grieving to be a process.

Working through the loss of a baby is more like running a marathon than completing a sprint. Grief takes energy, makes demands and can be exhausting. Be patient with yourself. Don’t feel the need to rush anything. Make sure you get enough rest. Consciously do things that will refresh your body and mind. Continue to eat healthy and exercise. Adapt the mindset of a long-distance runner and take it one step at a time.

2. Recognize that everyone handles loss and grief differently.

Grief is a very normal human emotion, but everyone deals with it in a unique way. Whatever you’re experiencing – shock, fear, panic, anger, confusion, numbness – it’s okay. Allow yourself to feel it and be patient with yourself. If you have a partner, do what you can to respect their style of grieving and know that they may not process things in the same way that you do.

3. Find others to connect with.

While grief is a very personal journey, it can be helpful to share what you’re going through. The stories and memories of your baby matter and you do not need to carry them alone. That’s why St. Luke’s offers a Perinatal Loss Grief Support Group. This group meets on the fourth Thursday of every month and is free of charge. You do not have to be a St. Luke’s patient, and both men and women are welcome to join.


For more information or to register, call 218.249.3783


St. Luke’s Birthing Center is located in Duluth, MN, with St. Luke’s clinics in the surrounding region, including Superior, WI. To schedule a tour of St. Luke’s Birthing Center, call 218.249.5605.


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